And today

And today.

i am deeply depressed with the hard question that I never expect.
i think i lose hope toward myself.
but I hope, I really really hope I will pass with izin Allah, with redha Allah and with Allah will.
 Aku tawakal

A day before

A day before exam,
mak abah come to visit me to send me my roadtax
but i know mak abah wanna wish me luck and give me strength for my upcomig exam.
the moment when i hug mak and abah, they wish me all the best for exam.
they pray for me and i know deep in their heart, they pray for me everyday.
because mak said, insyaAllah, Allah will ease.
abah too.
both of them are my strength, my weakness.
may Allah bless both of them

Death

Yesterday,
i learn about death and how you never know how your life gonna end.
some of us sempat to mengucap and die in peace.
but some of us mungkin akan mati unexpctedly.
Hanya Allah yang tahu.

But, both of this, pengakhiran nanti kepada Allah juga.
No matter what happen, fitrah manusia kembali pada Allah.
And there, you might go to heaven or hell.
Hanya Allah yang tahu,

Our night  oncall in ED, where a patient die, young one, because he didnt wear helmet naik motor,
The brain was out of form, we can see,
And because its night,
we help the staff to kind of balut dia pakai kain putih to be sent to forensic,
my first experience to do stuff like macam kapankan mayat.

Intense training

Today, I thought I can't do this intense houseman training which is climbing stairs from Level 1 to 9 for 3 times, but ended up doing it. Alhamdulillah.

Never done this before thats why am so not confident to do this, nasib tak pengsan tengah tangga je. Hahaa.

When you think you can't do it. Don't stop and never give up.

You can do it.

So, lets do our best and try our best. InsyaAllah we can do it even when 45 days left. 😭

#survivefirstweekortho

Love

Today,
Day 22 of Ramadhan
I saw one of those loves.
Between siblings. A brother and her sister.
Her sister is 2yo girl with spastic cerebral palsy with hydrocephalus.
Pretty cute child lying down cannot do anything because it is quadriplegia.
And there by her side is a supportive brother. A 20 yo young man.
Stay by her side, care for her and do everything she cant do.
I can see, he looks tired, but he patiently stay there wait there for her sister.

Bersabarlah menjaga anak syurga.

Another story is a girl who is taken care by her sister.
That child came with severe acute exacerbation of asthma ( AEBA)
She was tachypnea, cough and all and was taken care by a sister.
When ask where is parent ? Both of them is busy in bazaar.
I know it might be hard for them, raya is coming soon and parents are busy to facilitate the best for child.
Moga adik kuat, family adik kuat.


Banyak orang, banyak cerita.
The unspoken one.

Paeds

Today, following morning rounds again.

I love to follow Dr. Z round. The rounds was so informative and she teach us A LOT. like seriously a lot.

Today, there is one case of medulloblastoma.
The child was previously active, got number 2 in class and suddenly crash down after headache, vomit, cannot walk and cannot talk.
She was diagnosed with medulloblastoma, space occupying lesion,
Initially, their parents cant coop with the situation but now both of them take care of this child. Anak syurga InsyaAllah.

My heart cry when hearing Dr Z asking question to the parents. Thinking of how they feel.
I taktahan tengok kanak kanak especially when they are sick. Am sensitive. .

Give up

The moment when you feel you want to give up.
But seeing back, how you talk with patient, knowing them.
You dont want to give up.
Even when you lost your spirit.
You should never give up.
Allah is there, and always there beside you.
He make you stonger and He will help you.

May Allah ease the journey.

Goodbye Obs and Gynae posting.
You will be missed deeply.